Furniture Polish should not be used for cooking.

I just started this blog the other day to vent my frustrations with stupid shit that happens.  Well it did not take long for me to pull off another slick maneuver.  First off I need to pass along my thanks to three entities.  First off, Wal-Mart.  My God strike you down for making a generic can of furniture polish that looks just like your generic can of cooking spray.  Needless to say we will not be purchasing "either" product in the future.  Please feel free to peddle that shit to some other unsuspecting party.  To my children, Marianna and Billy, that cleaned the kitchen today......we will be talking in the morning.  My tongue hurts too bad to yell right now and I don't want to wake you up because I know you will laugh at me and make a smart ass comment about how I am not supposed to put that spray on sandwiches and that it is for tables.
Moving right along.  This glorious weather here in Oklahoma pissed me off so I took a nap this evening.  I woke up feeling groggy and desiring a couple grilled cheese sandwiches.  I went to the kitchen and began the process of assembling my meal.  I sprayed the bread with "cooking spray" that thankfully was sitting right next to the griddle.  I left the kitchen and came back a minute later and flipped my sandwiches over.  I noticed a lemon type smell in the kitchen, but made the incorrect assumption my children had done a great job cleaning today.  I left the kitchen again and found something on the TV before returning to the kitchen to fetch my tasty feast.  Holy Shit! Tasty cannot correctly describe the flavor of what entered my mouth.  The only thing I do know is that: A. It wasn't a fucking grilled cheese and B. My mouth had a burning sensation much similar to pepper spray.  I could not eject the vile substance out of my mouth quick enough.  Coffee, milk, Crystal Light, water, bread, crackers, 3 cigarettes, and finally a dip of Skoal and the taste is finally leaving my mouth.  I put the sandwiches in the dog food bowl and I swear I heard both the dogs laugh and their faces said, "We just saw you dumbass and no we are not eating that shit.  Please remove it from our bowl."
Anyway fuck Wal-Mart; they did that shit on purpose.  Children, sleep well.